a thought on miss manners

After reading a friend's away message, I searched out Mrs. Manners and came across the following article regarding engagements. I was so glad someone said what I always thought.

"Dear Miss Manners:
I am feeling incorrect. A colleague recently became engaged and was delightedly showing her ring to the women at work. Each one squealed "Congratulations!" While I am as happy as the others are for her, it seems a bit like she won the grand prize on a game show rather than committed to a lifetime of caring and responsibility.
What is the "correct" response? I settled for something along the order of "I'm sooooo happy for you!" which did not seem as celebratory but was the best I could do on short notice.
There are many young, unmarried women in my office, and I am sure to have to know the answer to this question in the near future.

It is you whom Miss Manners must congratulate. You have stumbled accidentally on the correct approach.
Strictly speaking, a lady should never be congratulated on her engagement or marriage, however charming the gentleman. It is he who is officially the lucky one, to whom congratulations are given. She is properly wished happiness."

Amen. Yes being engaged is great, but let's celebrate the birth of your children and your 5, 10, 15 year anniversary--ya know? I know a lot of women I talked to felt like the engage-ees were less excited about having dedicated the rest of their life to another person, but more so excited to let everyone know that they were good enough to be proposed to. I wonder if getting engaged was always such a spectacle. In a time where divorce is so common, perhaps we should celebrate, as I said earlier, anniversaries and encourage couples to work out what can be worked out; or simply be more discerning about who they choose to marry in the first place. If the situation has gone bad or god-forbid you simply fall out of love with each other, I absolutely do not advocate that two people stay together, but it seems that a lot of people are so anxious to get engaged that they don't sit down and really figure out if when they say "'til death do us part" they can mean it for "as long as [they] both do live". Everything I've seen regarding relationships is enough to make me more than a little wary... is there a book of questions to ask before you get engaged? A Cosmopolitan quiz? Haha... I certainly don't think I am beyond getting so wrapped up in love you forget to make sure it's right, I just hope when the time comes to respond to a proposal it is been a well thought out and discussed decision on both our parts.